Redneck Wins the Lottery: Courtesy of Comedy Central Daily Email

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.”

To which the man replied, “No sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.

The Redneck said, “I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it.”

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!”

Click for ChrisB at Ms Cellania where I’ve enjoyed Witty Wednesday for a while now and for more Witty Wednesdays at Small Reflections.

Thanks to Sandee of Comedy Plus for sharing these latest awardsI want to them with all my regular visitors.  Please snag, enjoy & share with friends … just because.  If you wish to follow rulezcheck them at Sandees.   If not, share as you choose.


Ivanhoe passed the Life is Grand award along to the first 5 visitors who commented on her post … with the following instructions: List 5 reasons why you think life is grand and pass the award on to 5 bloggers.  Those who know me are aware I’m not big on rulez … but here are 7 reasons why I think life is grand … and all who believe life is grand & leave a link are welcome to snag, enjoy, and pass this award along … just because.


My life is grand because:
1. I’m happily retired … grateful that I was raised to live within my means … avoiding debt and managing money responsibly … planning for the future throughout my life so I don’t have to work for a salary ;–)
2. I live near the ocean where I can walk daily with Molly and take photographs with my new camera.
3. My sister is back in town and we’re having wonderful times together. When she’s on the road we can talk to one another on our cell phones as often or as long as we wish thanks to Verizon’s free cell to cell minutes.
4. I’m blessed with wonderful friends and neighbors.
5. I’ve discovered this ‘virtual world’ known as the Blogosphere and met many interesting people.
6. I’ve discovered the local Adult School offers marvelous classes on a wide variety of subjects for reasonable prices. Many of my regulars have seen what I’ve learned about Photoshop Elements over the past year. My first Writers Workshop class begins tomorrow.
7. I’m blessed with good health, endless curiosity, and a willingness to teach myself whatever I need to know … when I need to know it. I’ve finally learned to ask for help when necessary.

The one below comes with RULEZ using your Music Player on Shuffle … but since I don’t HAVE a music player (with or without shuffle), I’m unable to participate.  Sandee did, however, so click on the link to find rulez and her responses if you have the requisite music player and wish to participate.


Thought for TodayThe foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” James Openheim